Thursday, May 10, 2012

Day somethingeruther. A lot

         Waiting for things to become natural and perpetuate themselves.  Today isn't so bad.  I know it's all constantly improving.


“That guy in the coffee place, were you just talking to him to make me jealous?”  Carlo talked to Belinda’s sleeping body.   He congratulated himself with a nod for using the word "guy" when he had so many other options.  He bit his tongue when he realized the guy was sitting across from them, reading Jim Kramer’s Freakonomics.  His computer sat open on the tray table in front of him, and Carlo bitterly assumed it was parked on his Facebook page.  He smiled smugly over at Carlo, his head looking like it might break backwards in a devilish cackle at any moment.He adjusted the pillow behind his head and folded his arms, and fell into a restless sleep.  His dream contained a lot more death and murder than he was anticipating.  In it, an old friend of his named Dougie was accompanying him with a hacksaw, they were walking down a long stretch of dirt road.  The dream was one of those that was especially real, he felt the warm air, he could see heat rising off of the yellow desert like stink lines in all directions.  He carried a bag which probably had a head in it, but as much as he tried to get his hands to open and release it nothing happened.
They arrived together in front of a precipice, and slid down the slowly declining dirt wall in front of a metal structure.  It looked like some sort of oil refinery, the legs that were holding it up jutted from the ground like spider limbs.  Dougie wiped blood off of the hacksaw before they even went inside.
They descended flight after flight of winding stairs, towering machines oscillating and filling the empty space with saturating noise.  He felt his face get angrier and angrier the deeper he got, his lips becoming a carved out jackolantern smile like Jack Nicholson playing an evil part.  Dougie pushed open the steel grate door at the bottom of the stairs and invited him in like Renfield, and he pushed through a thin layer of cobwebs.
Shaking his long hair free, he instictively called out, “No one can hear you!  I can’t even hear you.”  Belinda was strung up at the far end of the room, atleast a football field away, hanging by her feet from rusty metal shackles.
“This is how you deal with your problems, Carlo.  This is always how you deal with your problems.”  She ragged on him with an unflinching voice.  “Oh, I see you brought a friend.  Looks like he can do all of the work for you.” 
She looked relatively undamaged, her complexion still the ruddy pink it always was.  Aluminum foil sat on top of a wooden block, and on it there was a row of murder tools.  There was the dentist drill, the hammer, a rusty hook, a blow torch, any time he imagined something new it was there.  His eyes fluttered on the plane and he got a permament V-shaped eyebrow for a minute.
He grabbed the drill and stuck it to Belinda’s temple.  She stared up at him nonplussed, and as he held the trigger down it went with a gurgling noise directly into her head.  He felt a tinge of guilt but when he pulled the drill back out, bracing himself against the wall with his foot, the hole disappeared at the point of immersion.  Dougie got to work with the hacksaw, and although it easily cut through to the other side of her neck the head remained intact.
The stewardess passed in the aisle as Carlo gave off a low humming chuckle in his sleep.   She shook him by the shoulders and he roused, staring up at her like a Frankenstein monster.  He rose, almost automatically, and stepped across the aisle to where Mr. Douchebag was sitting, pushing poor Connie out of his warpath.
“Excuse me sir.”  Carlo said quietly.  The guy had his headphones in his ears and was asleep, his laptop still open in front of him.  A quiet sort of nonoffensive rock music blared.  “Sir.”  He reached down to pull the earphones out of the guys ears, a tough guy move if he had ever thought of one.
Belinda called from across the aisle.  “What are you doing?!”  She went from 0 to 50 in no time.  Meanwhile, Connie was trying to figure out where the air marshall was.
“I’m trying to sleep.”  The man groaned, his eyes opening to a slant.  Carlo reigned his arms in and stood with his hands at his side.  “What…?”
“How come a guy like you has to hit on my girl?”  Carlo said, shaking his head.  His self pity mechanism had kicked in.  “There’s… there’s all kinds of them around here.  Even just on this plane.”
“She didn’t say anything about…”
Carlo came in with a haymaker, his flabby arm bouncing off of the mans cheek and a sudden jerk of the plane laying him out flat on his back in the aisle.  His arm got caught in the man’s computer power cord and it fell with him.  Awake suddenly, the man rose and rubbed his face.
“What are you doing with your life?  It’s no wonder Belinda wants out.”  The man stated sharply.
“He’s right.”  Belinda chimed in.
“Sir, we’re going to have to ask you to come with us.”  A polite air marshall asked.  He was short stubby and tan, with a farmers tan and sunglasses.  Older ladies toward the back of the plane only witnessed this part of the incident, and assumed the worst because of Carlo’s darker complexion.
He talked to Belinda from across the glass.
“The man… Duane… has agreed not to press charges.”
“Charges for what?”  Carlo asked, incredulous.
“Carlo, it was full on assault.”
There was a moment of silence.
“…Are you still going to come live with me?”  Carlo asked.  Belinda looked away, tussled her black hair like she did every time they watched a horror movie.  “Well that’s just fucking great.  A new house, a new life, all by myself…”  Carlo made eye contact and was brought back into the moment, the way he could only stay mad at her when they weren’t together.  He resented her for her ability to produce empathy seemingly out of thin air.
“I think it’s best that we are apart for awhile.”  She said, turning to leave like she had just thrown a grenade.
“How long is awhile?”  A security guard gestured at the marshall, who opened the plexi glass security cage with a key hanging from a long ring on his pocket.
“You’re free to go, get out of here.”

Carlo sat in the sunroom of his new estate, surrounded by moving boxes taller than he was.  He sat on a stone bench that was part of the wall, earlier having retrieved his coffee maker and coffee cup out of the smaller box which he had purposely marked with a yellow “X” to ensure the ease of its retrieval.
It was a better cup than his last one, this he knew.  It said “Washington County Steel Workers Union” on the side with big grey prison bars, and it was the perfect width and length for his optimum amount of coffee.  It’s perfection made him think of it as the evil sports team from movies, the team with all of the choice prospects, the hard nosed semi-professional coach, the highly competitive clannish nature of earning playing time.  His old cup, one he had bought years earlier when things with Beverly were still going good, had been smashed somehow in transit.  The rest of the contents of the bag were in perfect condition, the larger superior backup cup seemed to be saying:  “Your other cup had certain limitations.  It’s time you moved on to a big boy cup.”    
He kicked his feet out and his lower half teetered uncertainly on the edge of the bench, and as he tipped to one side he eyeballed the full cup of joe, sloshing around inside like an overflowing bathtub.  He found it impossibly hard to use both arms independently, his right arm spasmodically flailing to preserve his balance.  It was like watching a first time swimmer. A sudden image of him smashing his head on the cement bench behind him and laying in a pool of his own blood for the movers to find him the next day popped into his head.  He looked down at the cup, which seemed to be demanding he acknowledge it’s importance, and dropped it to the ground.  The coffee spilled and the cup turned upright seemingly of his own accord..
“Worse things than my whole house smelling like coffee.”  He said to himself with a sheepish giggle.  He jumped at the sight of his own face in the linoleum, he looked like a burly bear of a man.  The coffee quickly followed the slightly slanting curvature of the kitchen and over the risers that led to his living room, a circular room with two high beams on either side and a bubble of glass window overhead.  He retrieved the coffee cup and marooned it in the sink.

Saturday, May 5, 2012

extremely lame things happen!

Not my full thousand but whatever!

 
Carlo looked past Belinda and saw their window was closed.  Thunder broke ominously from all directions, and a primordial instinct kicked in as he begun to sweat profusely out of his forehead.  He enjoyed movies where people were stranded on desert islands, mostly because he was pretty sure he couldn’t do it himself.  The classic fish out of water story. 
“That guy in the coffee place, were you just talking to him to make me jealous?”  Carlo talked to Belinda’s sleeping body.   He bit his tongue when he realized the guy was sitting across from them, reading Jim Kramer’s Freakonomics.  His computer sat open on the tray table in front of him, and Carlo bitterly assumed it was parked on his Facebook page.  He smiled smugly over at Carlo, his head looking like it might break backwards in a devilish cackle at any moment.
He adjusted the pillow behind his head and folded his arms, and fell into a restless sleep.  His dream contained a lot more death and murder than he was anticipating.  In it, an old friend of his named Dougie was accompanying him with a hacksaw, they were walking down a long stretch of dirt road.  The dream was one of those that was especially real, he felt the warm air, he could see heat rising off of the yellow desert like stink lines in all directions.  He carried a bag which probably had a head in it, but as much as he tried to get his hands to open and release it nothing happened.
They arrived together in front of a precipice, and slid down the slowly declining dirt wall in front of a metal structure.  It looked like some sort of oil refinery, the legs that were holding it up jutted from the ground like spider limbs.  Dougie wiped blood off of the hacksaw before they even went inside.
They descended flight after flight of winding stairs, towering machines oscillating and filling the empty space with saturating noise.  He felt his face get angrier and angrier the deeper he got, his lips becoming a carved out jackolantern smile like Jack Nicholson playing an evil part.  Dougie pushed open the steel grate door at the bottom of the stairs and invited him in like Renfield, and he pushed through a thin layer of cobwebs.
Shaking his long hair free, he instictively called out, “No one can hear you!  I can’t even hear you.”  Belinda was strung up at the far end of the room, atleast a football field away, hanging by her feet from rusty metal shackles.
“This is how you deal with your problems, Carlo.  This is always how you deal with your problems.”  She ragged on him with an unflinching voice.  “Oh, I see you brought a friend.  Looks like he can do all of the work for you.” 
She looked relatively undamaged, her complexion still the ruddy pink it always was.  Aluminum foil sat on top of a wooden block, and on it there was a row of murder tools.  There was the dentist drill, the hammer, a rusty hook, a blow torch, any time he imagined something new it was there.  His eyes fluttered on the plane and he got a permament V-shaped eyebrow for a minute.
He grabbed the drill and stuck it to Belinda’s temple.  She stared up at him nonplussed, and as he held the trigger down it went with a gurgling noise directly into her head.  He felt a tinge of guilt but when he pulled the drill back out, bracing himself against the wall with his foot, the hole disappeared at the point of immersion.  Dougie got to work with the hacksaw, and although it easily cut through to the other side of her neck the head remained intact.
The stewardess passed in the aisle as Carlo gave off a low humming chuckle in his sleep.   She shook him by the shoulders and he roused, staring up at her like a Frankenstein monster.  He rose, almost automatically, and stepped across the aisle to where Mr. Douchebag was sitting, pushing poor Connie out of his warpath.
“Excuse me sir.”  Carlo said quietly.  The guy had his headphones in his ears and was asleep, his laptop still open in front of him.  A quiet sort of nonoffensive rock music blared.  “Sir.”  He reached down to pull the earphones out of the guys ears, a tough guy move if he had ever thought of one.
Belinda called from across the aisle.  “What are you doing?!”  She went from 0 to 50 in no time.  Meanwhile, Connie was trying to figure out where the air marshall was.
“I’m trying to sleep.”  The man groaned, his eyes opening to a slant.  Carlo reigned his arms in and stood with his hands at his side.  “What…?”
“How come a guy like you has to hit on my girl?”  Carlo said, shaking his head.  His self pity mechanism had kicked in.  “There’s… there’s all kinds of them around here.  Even just on this plane.”
“She didn’t say anything about…”
Carlo came in with a haymaker, his flabby arm bouncing off of the mans cheek and a sudden jerk of the plane laying him out flat on his back in the aisle.  His arm got caught in the man’s computer power cord and it fell with him.  Awake suddenly, the man rose and rubbed his face.

Friday, May 4, 2012

More improving-ment

             I am getting better at revising these things.  It's not good, but atleast some of it makes sense.  I might revise that first novel type of thing I wrote last November and make it make sense, eventually.  But overall I think my stories at the very least make more sense now.

         
He had atleast through the end of the month, he thought.  Her father had paid the security deposit and the first month of rent, and before she became “exasperated” and “artistically compromised” (the words he was sure she would use), he would have to make things good again.  His funds which were set aside for graduate school were going to be spent on many nights on the town, going dancing.  Her costume would change completely for dancing, she was suddenly ostensibly a dancer again.
He weighed the option of leaving her first in his mind.  In an episode of Seinfeld, George leaves a woman who he feels is going to break up with him before she can.  It works out pretty well, but it doesn’t work as a metaphor in this situation he realizes because first of all their isn’t much continuity on Seinfeld, and secondly George never keeps the same girlfriend for more than a few episodes.
His eyelids peeled back like they were glued together in the middle and he caught himself in one of those half asleep half dreaming moments.  If he really wanted to stay awake in this situation, he knew someone would have to slap him in the face.  He tried to slap himself, but his hands were like big wobbily wands.  Or, he could stand up.  The rows of seats went on endlessly, and in his stupor it seemed like everyone was sharing casual intimate conversations.  It was like one of those mirror rooms.  The darkened cabin drew attention to the row of lights on both sides of the aisle, which looked a lot like night lights.
The luggage was supposed to meet him at the house later that night, and like in the movies he asked if the movers would mind starting without him.  Luckily, he didn’t realize how often his plans of action were based on things he saw in the movies.  They said they needed a key to do that, and Carlo told them to talk to the owner.  They said it would cost extra, and he agreed although he could already see his nest egg steadily shrinking.  After the plane tickets, the Bruce Springsteen concert they had went to the night before, the steak restaurant they went to, the hotel reservations.
The house was a little bungalow on a flat stretch of land, it looked like nothing more than four walls from the outside.  Carlo had a collection of pictures of houses that he hadn’t actually seen on his computer, to make it look like he had done more investigation.  In reality, he had decided on the first house before giving any others much thought.  The selling point was a backyard that featured an enormous oak tree and an area which he thought he would convert into a garden. The yard needed a lot of weeding and fixing up, or so he ascertained from the satellite photos.  He imagined himself and Belinda in an idyllic, romantic Sunday morning, tearing hands full of the yellowest dandelions from the ground and throwing them into a wheelbarrow.  And then maybe having sex in a hammock or something.  He looked over again, and the way she was sitting did that thing where her chin disappears into her neck.  There was that lump on her neck again, he shook his head.  She refused to get it checked out, but it looked like it might be the beginnings of a goiter.  Maybe at some point it would act up and he’d have to take her to the hospital.
The “sit down” lights came on and the pilot assured everyone it was only for precautionary measures.
“We may be experiencing a mild amount of turbulence, as we fly directly through the approaching thunderstorm.  If I may say so, it’s a thing of beauty, and if you can overcome your nervousness you may enjoy staring out of the windows.”
Carlo looked past Belinda and saw their window was closed.  Thunder broke ominously from all directions, and a primordial instinct kicked in as he begun to sweat profusely out of his forehead.  He enjoyed movies where people were stranded on desert islands, mostly because he was pretty sure he couldn’t do it himself.  The classic fish out of water story. 
“That guy in the coffee place, were you just talking to him to make me jealous?”  Carlo talked to Belinda’s sleeping body.   He bit his tongue when he realized the guy was sitting across from them, reading Jim Kramer’s Freakonomics.  His computer sat open on the tray table in front of him, and Carlo bitterly assumed it was parked on his Facebook page.  He smiled smugly over at Carlo, his head looking like it might break backwards in a devilish cackle at any moment.
He adjusted the pillow behind his head and folded his arms, and fell into a restless sleep.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Day one million

         Did I take another day off?  Oops.  I think I might have.  This might be my best one yet though.  I think it's about confidence, still.  Just keep trying everything until something works!

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There she is, talking noisily to who-knows-who.  If I had been here on time, phones would be put away by now.  Oh no, she’s talking to Kim.  He thought to himself.  That was even worse than if she had talked to Bluto.  He swore that all girls had a conspiracy against him, he was sure they were bandying death sentences and not pulling any punches.  Even worse, every time he nearly interecepted one of these conversations it would abruptly end.  He wanted to atleast know what she was talking about.
Carlo rose after his second tiny gin and tonic and readjusted himself.  In the awful Drew Barrymore movie that was airing on the TV that projected from the ceiling like an eyeball from a cartoon characters face, Drew was crying and spending a night drinking wine and eating spaghetti while watching an awful romantic comedy of her own.  A few seats down, Belinda was clutching a napkin tightly and had the same watery eyed look as Drew, who was now hammering out the numbers of her ex boyfriend on an old fashioned phone.  Or, atleast Carlo assumed that was what she was doing, because he didn’t have his little headset plugged into the armwrest. 
He decided he was going to try to sleep and immediately had to go to the bathroom.  When he reached it, the door said occupied.  Standing on a plane felt a lot like being on an elevator that was in motion to Carlo, and he clung limpid fingers onto the railing on the outer wall of first class.  Peeking in, he saw that they had nicer curtains in first class, and that small style upgrade made a considerable difference.  Biff emerged from the lavatory and wiped a handfull of sweat off of his forehead, nodding and smiling at Carlo as he passed.  was three rows ahead, noisily fiddling with his seatbelt. 
Carlo had fond memories of TV dinners, and he rubbed his hands together excitedly as the enormous cart made its way down the aisle.  He could get used to this airplane thing, he thought, as he contemplated how he was in an airtight sealed vessel hurdling at thousands of miles an hour suspended miles above the ground.  Events happened in no particular order in the air.  Connie, the server, looked like a rare bird.  How could she strut around with such poise and professionality and still maintain any kind of humanity?  She couldn’t.
“You like her, don’t you?”  Belinda asked louder than she intended to because her headphones were still in her ears.  It rung through Carlo’s bell of a head like it had interrupted a beautiful dream.  Carlo was upset at first but then reminded himself that jealousy was a good thing, as long as it wasn’t coming from himself.  Jealousy meant she was vulnerable, and that she was willing to meet him half way or better yet stick her neck out and allow him to either wound or cajole her.
“There are certain things I like about her.”  Carlo bit his tongue to stop himself from going further.  He liked that she had a job, that she seemed independent, that she might be impulsive or atleast get free airfare.  Her argyle socked leg crossed over his, uh-oh, you’ve done it now Carlo, she is going to use your sex against you.  He looked over and suddenly she wasn’t the burn-out uncool failure who tries to hard anymore, now she was that beautiful quirky sex object again.  And she had watery eyes, which the jury was still out on.
“Sir.”  Connie purred and smiled an impossibly genuine looking smile down at him.  He turned his face around to meet her, and she was leaning over his seat, not unlike one of those perpetual motion birds.
He had atleast through the end of the month, he thought.  Her father had paid the security deposit and the first month of rent, and before she became “exasperated” and “artistically compromised” (the words he was sure she would use), he would have to make things good again.  His funds which were set aside for graduate school were going to be spent on many nights on the town, going dancing.  Her costume would change completely for dancing, she was suddenly a dancer again.
He weighed the option of leaving her first in his mind.  In an episode of Seinfeld, George leaves a woman who he feels is going to break up with him before she is able to dump him.  It works out pretty well, but it doesn’t work as a metaphor in this situation he realizes because first of all their isn’t much continuity on Seinfeld, and secondly George never keeps the same girlfriend for more than a few episodes.
His eyelids peeled back like they were glued together in the middle and he caught himself in one of those half asleep half dreaming moments.  If he really wanted to stay awake in this situation, he knew someone would have to slap him in the face.  Or, he’d have to stand up.